1.
Bebe Reptar – The only person who still talks about Daniel Powter and other faceless crap in 2016.
2.
Lisa-Gail > Madonna - A friendly guy from Australia who loves the Killers and... ummm... uhhh.. other stuff!
3.
FreakyFlyBry – M4B’s fearless leader/Kate Voegele’s stalker.
4.
Cody – The one person who still listens to active rock radio!
5.
JessieLou – The head unapologetic bitch/diva of the M4B group who loves Grace Slick and owns too many Louboutins to count (actually, she doesn’t, but in this made up story she can!)
6.
Courage – The Celine Dion lover from Miami who has transformed himself into a music video star.
7.
Julian – Mariah Carey in another life.
8.
Matt – The whore of M4B!
9.
MIKEB – The only rational and normal person in the group.
10.
Pipa – The world’s biggest Stuck EP/Wolf Remote/Jingle 9/Crazy Horses/Built This Pool lover; the other unapologetic bitch in the group.
11.
Sam I Am - He wants you to just flaunt it.
12. @whoselinefan – A teenage girl from New Hampshire who loves
Whose Line Is It Anyway... and gets angry when you don’t give her iTunes gift cards.
13. Chris Brown – R&B singer/crazy man with anger issues.
Season 2, Episode 2: “Was Dog A Doughnut?”Last time on The House Of Randomness, the gang got settled in the mansion in San Francisco that they will be staying in this summer - which just so happens to be the famous 2400 Fulton Street, which used to be owned by the members of Jefferson Airplane. They quickly discover that their obnoxious neighbor from their New York City trip three years ago has followed them to Frisco - Chris Brown. He barges into the house threatening to - you guessed it - f*ck someone up right now, and even threatens Mike B. after he tried to give him the benefit of the doubt.
“I’M GOING TO f*ck EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU UP!” Chris Brown says.
“But the question is, are you going to f*ck us up
right now?” responds Sam.
“DAMN STRAIGHT MOTHAf*ckA!”
The gang tries to think of how to get Chris Brown out of the house. Unlike three years ago, they don’t have Teetercamo to give Chris long lectures about how radio tells us what to like, or Joel who hired a taxi to take him from Manhattan all the way to Port Orange, Florida. Suddenly, Kim has an idea.
“I have a friend who may be able to help us. She lives in Florida which is several hours away from California, but hey, this story is fictional, it doesn’t have to make sense!”
A few minutes later, a sweet but very senile 73-year-old lady enters the House Of Randomness.
“Which,,,,one,,,,of,,,,,you,,,,,is,,,,,,Chris,,,,,Brown? I’m 73 years old!”
Mary Ann has entered the House Of Randomness.
“EXCUSE ME OLD LADY?! HOW CAN YOU NOT RECOGNIZE ME?! MY LAST ALBUM SOLD 10 BILLION COPIES!” Chris Brown responds.
“Remove the ‘billion’ part and you’re not that far off,” Brady says.
“DON’T MAKE ME f*ck YOU UP TOO OR I’LL MAKE YOU LISTEN TO LISA-GAIL ALLRED!”
“I’m,,,,73,,,,years,,,,,old,” Mary Ann says.
“WE HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME, LADY! DO YOU WANNA BE f*ckED UP?!”
“Where,,,,do,,,,I request,,,,,songs?”
“I
said, DO YOU WANNA BE f*ckED UP?!”
“Can,,,,you,,,,please,,,,play,,,,Domino by,,,,the,,,, Karma,,,, Killers. I’m 73 years old!”
“WE KNOW! YOU’RE 73 YEARS OLD! DO YOU WANT A COOKIE FOR THAT?! YOU’RE MAKING ME REALLY ANGRY RIGHT NOW! AND WHO ACTUALLY SAYS COMMA OUT LOUD?!”
Mary Ann just stares at Chris Brown for a moment and then says, “73 years old!”
“THAT’S IT! THIS OLD LADY IS MAKING ME ANGRY! I’M OUT OF HERE!”
Chris Brown storms out of the House Of Randomness while the gang celebrates getting him out.
“Great job Kim! And Mary Ann of course,” Adam says.
Mikaela says, “Mary Ann, I am now following you. I hope you will follow me back. Also, how old are you?”
The rest of the gang gives her a “are you for real right now?” look.
Mary Ann spends the rest of the night with the gang and even bakes cookies for them. The next morning, she goes back home to Florida.
Meanwhile, Kim, who recently launched his own online station called ACIndie, started getting flack on social media. First, the guy he hired to post status updates has just posted unfunny, half assed memes, and then later after accusing local rock station The Dog (which, of course, is only listened to by Cody since he’s literally the only person who gives a shit about active rock in 2016) of being sexist against playing female artists, gets called out by one of The Dog’s DJs, Walby. Things turn from bad to worse when Kim’s social media guy posts a very offensive meme about how women dress in other countries and quickly loses followers.
“This is bullshit. I didn’t want any of this to happen! I just wanted to run a radio station! Why does Walby have to be such a dick?” Kim says.
“I’m sorry you’re going through this.
I think you should fire the guy running ACIndie’s Facebook. He is clearly not doing you any favors,” Bryan responds.
“The feud with Walby us hurting my station. All I wanted to do was make a statement that women can rock just as hard as the guys, and I don’t understand why that should be an issue in 2016.”
Jessica chimes in, “I completely agree with you Kim and I don’t think you did anything wrong.” Suddenly, an idea pops into Jess’s head.
“Kim, I have an idea that is EXTREMELY ironic, but still crazy enough to work,” she continues, “What if you fire your asshole social media guy and I take his place? Again, I know it’s ironic since the station is called AC
Indie, but I know how to advertise a station, and post funny memes. And I’ll never post the shit that your current guy has!”
“You’re right, that is ironic, but I’ll give you a shot Jess. I just hope people forget about this and Walby doesn’t ruin my station. f*ck Walby and The Dog.”
Later that night, Julian is watching TV in the living room. He is using the YouTube app on his Roku to watch Mariah Carey interviews where she throws shade at several other celebrities – particularly Ariana Grande and the woman she doesn’t know, Jennifer Lopez. Matt comes in to get a snack, but refuses to acknowledge Julian.
Julian awkwardly says hello to Matt, but Matt continues to ignore him.
Julian then says, “Matt, you can’t ignore me forever. We’re spending the whole summer together!”
Matt responds, “But we’re also spending the summer together with 10 other people. 10 people who I was never betrayed by.”
“Are you forgetting that Jess was involved too? It takes two to tango.”
“But I wasn’t in love with Jess. I’m gay, remember? How can I trust you when you keep playing with my emotions like this?”
“Hey, only
I may namedrop Mariah Carey songs from 1991 in this conversation, dahhhhling!” Julian continues, “I don’t wanna cry anymore. I can’t let go of you. There’s got to be a way you can forgive me, which hopefully will be someday. But let’s make it happen now!”
“I’m… I’m sorry Julian. I don’t know if I’m ready to forgive you just yet.”
What will happen when Jess starts co-running ACIndie with Kim? Will Matt ever forgive Julian? Will Walby stop being such a dick? Tune in again next week to find out, on THE HOUSE OF RANDOMNESS!