For some reason, Proboards/Wattpad are giving me a hard time, so I'm going to post the premiere here.
STARRING1. JessieLou (real name Jessica) - A New York-born girl who currently resides in Florida who just turned 21. She is very feminine and girly but is also VERY passionate about music. She also gets on everyone's last nerve as she's very opinionated, crazy, and at times even obnoxious.
2. Bryan - A Saskatchewan native who revealed last summer that his real name is Ryan Legweak and that he is “the radio” and tells people what to like. However, since people like his “Bryan Armstrong” alter ego so much, he is continuing to stick with it!
3. Adam - A radio DJ from Massachusetts who listens to a bunch of Hot AC artists nobody has ever heard of.
4. John – The king of optimistism.
5. Jason - A guy from Virginia who never knows whether to laugh, cry, or become Randy.
6. Matt - The Australian-born guy is considered to be the "whore" of the House Of Randomness.
7. David J – The artist formerly known as the #Phun. Gus Pharoah.
8. Julian - That annoying Mariah Carey stan from Canada.
9. Cody - One of the, like, 3 people who still listens to modern rock radio stations.
10. Dan – The two-minute man.
11. Brian - An innocent Maryland native who just wants to listen to 90’s rock tunes and look at photos of Nicole Scherzinger.
12. Ari - The coolest brotha in Mexico, who is also known as Alejandro.
13. Teetercamo (real name Justin) - He's only in this story because the radio told me to add him in.
14. Joel - The one sane person in the house who keeps wondering what the hell he's doing there.
15. Chris Brown - An R&B singer with anger issues who occasionally interrupts the House Of Randomness by threatening to "f*ck someone up right now."
And now, without further ado…
EPISODE 20: “Return Of The Mack”It's December 2013, four months after the M4BCC gang ended their crazy summer in New York City. The summer ended with the gang agreeing that they should meet up together again during the winter – but away from cold and freezing New York. So, where is the M4BCC motley crew going to spend their winter?
“DAYTONA BEACH?! Are these whores serious?!” JessieLou rants to her brother, Mike, at their parents’ home in Port Orange.
“Well, look on the bright side,” Mike says, “At least it’s not a long drive.”
“I don’t get what your problem is with this town. I like it here. But you know what I like even more? THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL!” Jess’s Mom says.
“Great, here we go again with that damn soap opera.” Jess’s Dad says.
“Hey, whatever happened to those two nice boys that we invited here a few months ago? Chris Brown and Joel?” Jess’s Mom asks.
Jess and Mike shake their heads at the idea of Chris Brown being a “nice boy.”
“Well, nobody told you that you HAD to go. In fact, I’m very uncomfortable with the idea of you spending a winter with a bunch of music friends you met online. Remember what happened during your New York trip from a few years ago?” Jess’s Dad says.
“That was different. Nobody on M4B is an angry, hateful, jealous bitch who threatens to kill themselves over not getting to see Whitesnake live. And besides, these are my friends; I don’t get to see them very often. They clearly chose to go to Daytona this time to get a rise out of me, and trust me, I WILL get my revenge!”
Jess’s Dad sighs, “Whatever you say, Jess. Just be careful.”
All of a sudden, the family puppy, Minnie, starts running around and licks everyone.
Meanwhile, all the housemates (except for Jess) have attended the Daytona house and are hanging out, having drinks, and making fun of Jess.
“HAHAHA! This plan was EPIC! All 13 of us unanimously agreeing to spend the winter in Daytona Beach just to get a rise out of Jess. She is going to be so pissed.” Dan says.
“Yeah, I can’t wait to see Jess’s reaction when she comes here.
” Bryan says.
“Is she even still coming here?! I could definitely see her bailing out. She hates this place.” Cody says.
Then the gang starts doing impressions of JessieLou.
John sings, “IT AIN’T PRETTY! YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT! IT AIN’T PRETTY WHEN YOUR NEW LEAD SINGER SUCKS BIG TIME!”
Adam continues, “IF YOU THINK YOU’RE FUNGUS, YOUR NAME IS J.D. FORTUNE, IT AIN’T PRETTY!”
Jason says, “I love Grace Slick! She is the QUEEN of MUSIC.”
The gang starts cracking up laughing.
Julian then says, “I remember the olden days of 2012 when Lita Ford was the queen of music. #Justice4Lita.”
Then, JessieLou opens the door and barges into the house.
“You DICKS! DAYTONA f*ckING BEACH??? What were you guys SMOKING?! I thought my idea of going to San Francisco was MUCH better than this shithole!”
“Didn’t we establish last summer that pissing you off is fun?” Brian says.
“Didn’t we establish last summer that Pop Evil is a shitty band?” JessieLou responds, “What I find even more annoying is that ALL 13 OF YOU chose Daytona! What is this, the “Piss Jess Off” club?”
“That was pretty much the plan because, again, pissing you off is fun.” Brian responds.
“Well trust me brothas,” Jess continues, “This ISN’T over.”
“No, it looks pretty over to me.” Ari says, with a grin on his face.
“No it isn’t, because you guys chose this place and will eventually see how true all of my Daytona rants were. Good luck fighting each other in coleslaw.”
Jess is about to walk off and do some shopping, but then she remembers the closest thing to high-end shopping in Daytona Beach is the skeevy and out-of-date Volusia Mall.
“Ugh, fine, I’ll stay with these whores.” Jess thinks to herself.
Meanwhile, Bryan receives a text from the owner of the house that they rented for the winter, which reads, “Hope you guys are enjoying your winter. Just wanted to warn you though that there is a psycho neighbor next door that you should definitely stay away from.”
Teetercamo says, “Oh no. Please don’t let it be who I think it is.”
Next thing they know, their psycho neighbor, Chris Brown, barges into the house.
“I’M CHRIS BROWN AND I’M ANGRY! I HAVE ANGER ISSUES! I’M GONNA f*ck SOMEONE UP RIGHT NOW!”
“Wow, really? Way to rehash your entrance in the first episode.” Matt says.
“HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF REHASHING SHIT! WHAT DO I GOTTA DO TO GET YOU GUYS TO FORGIVE ME???”
“WaW! Chris, I thought we were friends now!”
“Oh yeah, I remember you! Oh well, I’M STILL GONNA f*ck SOMEONE UP RIGHT NOW!”
“Chris, honeychile, you need to calm down gurl! Otherwise I will have to play some “Angie Baby” for you.” David J says.
Jess responds, “EWWWWWWWWW HELEN NOT REDDY!”
“HELEN REDDY? Who talks about that old hag in 2013?! You guys should be talking about ME! WHY WON’T YOU GUYS FORGIVE ME FOR SOMETHING I DID FOUR YEARS AGO?! FORGIVE ME OR I WILL HURT YOU!”
Will Chris Brown f*ck someone up on the first day? Will Jess warm up to the idea of spending the winter in Daytona Beach? Will the rest of the housemates eventually see all the negativity that Jess sees in this place? But most importantly, will there EVER be any justice for Lita Ford? Find out on next week’s episode of… THE HOUSE OF RANDOMNESS! #Justice4Lita
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