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Post by FreakyFlyBry on May 24, 2015 21:38:09 GMT -5
My favourites there are Gary Glitter (even though what he did is disgusting), Kenny Rogers (usually I hate his slow songs but I don't mind "Lucille") and Jimmy Buffett. The rest there either are meh, there, ok, or in the case of "You're Having My Baby", "No. Just no." Totally agreed on it, hated it ever since I heard it as an LDD. 17... Maria Muldaur "Midnight At The Oasis"? 19... Mary MacGregor "Torn Between Two Lovers"? 20... Henhouse Five Plus Too "In The Mood"? And JessieLou - I thought "Leave Me Alone (Ruby Red Dress)" was "The Hanging Tree" of the 70's? I hope that is still to come!
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2015 21:39:30 GMT -5
Jess, if you just put the lime in the coconut, then you'll feel better.
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2015 11:14:00 GMT -5
If 17 is "Midnight At The Oasis", I completely agree; that song really sucks.
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JessieLou
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Post by JessieLou on May 31, 2015 14:54:09 GMT -5
20. Henhouse Five Plus Too โ In The Mood (To Be A Chicken) (1977)Um, SERIOUSLY?!?! I don't know what's more ridiculous about this - the fact that Ray Stevens is pretending to be a chicken, or the fact that Ray Stevens pretending to be a chicken actually WENT TOP 40! Are you seriously telling me that Jefferson Starship's "Stranger" couldn't go top 40 but this Ray mofo pretending to be a chicken can?? Are we for real right now?? Anyway, I actually thought this was funny for like the first minute or so and then it kinda dragged on, which is interesting considering the song is only two minutes. Shortly after I heard this Glenn Miller remake for the first time, I was curious what he thought about the song, so I Googled "Glenn Miller reacts to Henhouse Five" without realizing that he died 33 years before this was released. Oops. But yeah, definitely one of the most RIDICULOUS songs ever made. 19. Mary MacGregwhore - Torn Between Two Geezers (1976)YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN 18. Starland Vocal Band - (This Song Is Not An) Afternoon Delight (Because It Sucks) (1976)I don't know what's more disturbing about this song - the AWFUL vocals, or the fact that it's about f*cking in the afternoon. Glad we never heard from these skanks again. 17. Maria Mehdaur - Midnight At The Geezer Convention (1974)I overheard my Mom play this song a couple years ago and thought it was awful, but I had no idea who sang it until last year. This is basically the female version of "Bad Blood" - crappy, geezerly, and a MAJOR off-key anthem. 16. Barry Geezerlow - Crapacabana (1978)Barry Mannillow has had a lot of really crappy borefests over the years, but THIS song - a disco track - has always been, hands down, his worst for me. It's cheesy, it sounds like a f*cking show tune, and it's REALLY overdramatic. A showgirl and a manwhore fall in love with each other at the Copacabana. OMGZ HOW INTERESTING!!!11 COMING UP: 11. Yes, Bebe Reptar, it's THAT song (1972). 12. The worst Osmond of them all! 13. One of the biggest hits of 1973. Could a certain whinefest by a Kardashian be crashing outside of the top 10?! 14. The song that started the phrase, "Is this AT40 or is this a porno?" 15. Yes, Bebe Reptar, it's THAT song (1975).
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2015 15:10:01 GMT -5
Jess, when is this gonna make your list?
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Post by FreakyFlyBry on May 31, 2015 18:08:20 GMT -5
I only disagree with 2 there, both guilty pleasures for me: "Afternoon Delight" and "Copacabana". I'm aware both were cheesefests but I really like both. I don't mind "Midnight At The Oasis" and can't stand the other two. While Ray Stevens is normally awful, Ray Stevens pretending to be a chicken is worse. 12... Little Jimmy Osmond "Long Haired Lover From Liverpool"? 13... Kris Kristofferson "Why Me"? I'd be SHOCKED if that misses the top 10, it would easily be top 10 worst of the 70's for me. 14... Sylvia "Pillow Talk"?
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Post by Matt on May 31, 2015 20:07:49 GMT -5
Oh. Dear. GOD to that chicken song. You mean to tell me people went out and bought physical vinyl and cassettes of THAT! "Torn Between Two Lovers" is just a simple song. It doesn't sound horrible but I probably wouldn't listen to it more than maybe two times, if I was forced to. Is that what 'Afternoon Delight' was actually about? I didn't mind the sound of this one. Oh boy I should actually take note of lyrics "Midnight At The Oasis" is terrible. Definitely off-key. I like "Copacabana"! The orchestral parts and mix of tribal instruments make this song for me.
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Post by JessieLou on Jun 1, 2015 11:47:43 GMT -5
Jess, when is this gonna make your list? what the hell was that omg that was SHIT
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Post by JessieLou on Jun 1, 2015 12:12:22 GMT -5
15. Benny Bell โ (My) Shaving Cream (Is Cheap Shit Just Like This Song) (1975)This was originally released in either the 30's or 40's but for some reason was re-released in 1975 - I know it's technically not a 70's song, but I associate this more with this decade than the one it was originally from, so it made the list. Just to clarify, that is exactly why Tony Christie's "Amarillo" and Charlene's "I've Never Been To Me" both missed the list - although they were originally released in the 70's, I associate them more with 2005 and 1982 respectively, otherwise I can guarantee you Charlene would've been top 5. Anyway, I heard this for the first time last month and it drove me batshit crazy. Literally the ENTIRE song is this mofo whining about walking into a big pile of shaving cream. First of all, shaving cream is used for SHAVING. There is absolutely no reason to have a big pile of it all over the place. Second, if you're walking into a pile of it constantly then you have some serious issues. It's just so bad and incredibly out of place on a 70's show, especially '75 since that was the best year for music in the 70's (in my opinion, of course). 14. Sylvia - Musical Porn (1973)Actual title is "Pillow Talk". 27 years before O-Town had their musical porn anthem "Liquid Dreams", Sylvia had the ORIGINAL musical porn anthem with this top ten hit from 1973. I heard this for the first time on the same show where I first heard "Super Fly Meets Shaft", a.k.a. that THING at #35, and was cringing so hard. To this day I am still asking the question I've been asking since May of last year - is this AT40 or is this a porno? 13. Clint Holmes - (There Is No) Playground In My Mind (Because Playgrounds Are Fun Unlike This Annoying Ass Song) (1973)Did you SERIOUSLY think that "Why Me" would've only be #13?! I TRICKED YOU. HA. HA. HA. You know what I mean. Anyway, I know I've heard this before pre-70's whore era but I can't remember where I heard it, but I rediscovered it on the same show where I first heard "Pillow Talk" and that THING at #35, and yet again went batshit crazy. As if his terrible and creepy vocals weren't bad enough - the child singing in the background makes this song even MORE annoying! I love children but seriously, what a whiny ass kid. Go back to playing with your action figures and stop associating yourself with crappy music. And SPEAKING of whiny ass kids who associate themselves with crappy music... 12. Little Jimmy Osmond - Long Haired Douchebag From Liverpool (1972)OH. MY. GOD. Seriously, WHAT IS THIS?! And I thought "Crazy Horses" was bad. First of all, this kid is like 10 years old, which is WAY too young to be singing about being a lover. Also, when did any of the Osmonds have long hair?? Just the title alone makes absolutely no sense. I don't even think they're British! This is what Justin Bieber would've sounded like if he was around in the 70's - cheesy, out of tune, and making absolutely no sense. 11. The Chakachas - (I Don't Have) Jungle Fever (But I Do Have Regular Fever From Hearing This Crappy Song) (1972)This is even MORE "Is this AT40 or is this a porno"-worthy than "Pillow Talk". This song is mostly an instrumental, and the instrumental part of this song is actually catchy, so I was digging the first minute or so. Then all of a sudden I hear a woman make these REALLY disturbing sounding moans - almost like she was in pain, which I know sounds terrible but that was how I interpreted it. And the rest of the song is the same thing over and over - the catchy beat and then random moaning out of nowhere in the middle of it. If that's all you had to do in order to get a top 10 hit in the 70's, then I REALLY wish I was around back then because "Ugly Vegas" and "Fuglicious" would've had NO problems making the top 40! COMING UP: 6. This was one of the songs played on the VERY first American Top 40 show from July 4, 1970. 7. A song that had a similar title to an ELO song charting at the exact same time. 8. One hit wonder from late 1972/early 1973. 9. This is actually from the same artist as #6. 10. The one and only OFF-KEY ANTHEM!
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Post by FreakyFlyBry on Jun 1, 2015 12:52:19 GMT -5
I don't remember "Jungle Fever" at all, you're probably thankful for that. "Pillow Talk" and "Playground In My Mind" are guilty pleasures for me. Don't like the Jimmy Osmond song, just too cheesy and he was too young for the music business at the time. Very few pre-teen singers can pull it off, and he surely wasn't one of them. I totally agree with "Shaving Cream" Everything is wrong with it What was a geezer song like that doing as a hit in '75? It's just a huge piece of sh...aving cream. 6... Ray Stevens "Everything Is Beautiful"? If so, #9 is "The Streak". 7... Meri Wilson "Telephone Man"? 10... Neil Sedaka "Bad Blood"? I bet the top 5 is "Muskrat Love", "Why Me", "Leave Me Alone (Ruby Red Dress)", "Feelings" and "You Don't Bring Me Flowers"... did any of those appear yet?
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Post by JessieLou on Jun 1, 2015 15:12:33 GMT -5
6... Ray Stevens "Everything Is Beautiful"? If so, #9 is "The Streak". "Everything Is Beautiful" actually missed the list. As for "The Streak"... 68. Ray Stevens - (Please Do Not Be) The Streak (Because I Don't Want To See You Naked) (1974)What in the blue hell is this supposed to be? Could this be ANY more annoying? And this went to #1 over "Mockingbird", WELL I NEVER. I bet the top 5 is "Muskrat Love", "Why Me", "Leave Me Alone (Ruby Red Dress)", "Feelings" and "You Don't Bring Me Flowers"... did any of those appear yet? All of those are still to come!
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Post by Matt on Jun 1, 2015 18:03:19 GMT -5
We are SO close to the Top... errm, bottom 10! I only know "Long Haired Lover From Liverpool" from playing SongPop Can't wait to see where the muskrats having sex appear.
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Post by JessieLou on Jun 2, 2015 21:14:58 GMT -5
TOP 10 TIME! 10. Neil "The King Of Off-Key" Sedaka - Bad Singing (1975)It all started on December 8, 2013, exactly one week after I heard "Muskrat Love" for the first time (yes, I know, I just had a @wife moment). I woke up at 7AM to listen to that week's AT40 show from 1975 (it was actually an early 70's show that week, but FreakyFlyBry and I chose to listen to '75 instead because it was the last week "Miracles" was on the chart ). When I woke up, I was still extremely tired and feeling sick. I was pretty much half-asleep during the very beginning of the show, and then the #38 song, which was this, came on. I was still half asleep and not really paying attention, up until I heard the INCREDIBLY cringeworthy chorus - "BAAAAAHHHHHADDDD BLOOOHHHHHHDDDDD!!11~". I remember thinking to myself, "Oh my God, is he singing off key? What the hell is wrong with this guy?" I immediately woke up after that. You can't stay sleepy after hearing someone sing off-key! And thus, the off-key anthem jokes were born. On a more TMI note, I was so sick that morning that I ended up calling out of work, and an hour later threw up - of course, I blamed Neil Sedaka. Seriously though, I will never understand how a PROFESSIONAL MUSICIAN, especially one who has been in the business for several years at that point, could record something so out of tune. Professional musicians are supposed to sing BETTER than other people. I am NOT supposed to be a better vocalist than you if you're a professional! I will say though that there are two songs from him I don't mind, and oddly enough they were both from the same year as this one - "Laughter In The Rain" and "The Immigrant" - at least on those two he's actually ON KEY. 9. Melanie - Brand New (Off) Key (1971)Speaking of off-key anthems, that's Melanie's entire career! This woman cannot sing to save her f*cking life. Every time I hear this song, I cringe SO hard. However, she actually has another song that I find worse than this, and it's still to come in this set! 8. Donna Farskank - (Why Should I Make A) Funny Face (When You're Being Annoying About It?) (1973)If there were sung by anyone else, it more than likely would've missed the list because there is absolutely nothing memorable about this song - except for Donna's vocals. OH MY GOD. HOW IN THE BLUE HELL DID THIS GIRL GET A RECORD DEAL?! SHE CAN'T SING!!! If I were "funny face" and I heard this song, I would've dumped her ass in an instant. And staying with the theme of women who need singing lessons... 7. Meri Wilson - (The) Telephone Man (Is A Better Singer Than Me) (1977)Meri Wilson was a one hit wonder for a reason - and honestly, that hit was one too many! I was shocked when I heard this for the first time last summer. I VERY rarely skip songs whenever I listen to AT40 shows that are sent to me (and I don't skip anything ever when I'm listening to it on the radio), but whenever I'm listening to a show with this song, I HAVE to skip it for the sake of my sanity. This woman might possibly be the worst vocalist I have ever heard. Even Miley Cyrus sings better than her! This song is annoying beyond belief. I'm not a big ELO fan, but "Telephone Line" is a MASTERPIECE compared to this garbage! 6. Melanie - (I Am Not Going To) Lay Down (And Why The Hell Did You Put Your) (Candles In Rain) (When You Knew They Were Going To Be Put Out, You Moron (1970)That looks very confusing, I know. The actual title of this song is "Lay Down (Candles In The Rain)". Yup, Melanie is the only artist to place TWO songs in the top 10! She is one of those artists who I dislike a lot more than people know. I don't really talk about her that much because she only had two big hits, and they were both in the VERY early 70's, and I don't listen to those shows very often. When Casey Kasem sadly passed away a year ago this month, a lot of radio stations were airing the very first AT40 show from July 4, 1970. I tuned in to one of the airings of that show, and although it was a very good debut show overall, I got a MASSIVE headache when I heard this screamfest. That chorus is more Jessie J than Jessie J herself. LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY DOWN LAY DOWN LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY IT ALLLLLLLLLLL DOWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!11 OMG WE GET IT. SHUT UP. NOW. GOD.
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Post by FreakyFlyBry on Jun 2, 2015 23:29:40 GMT -5
I like "Bad Blood", because it's fun to make fun of his off-key singing. (For the record, I do genuinely like his other 1975 hits, and a few of his 60's songs too.)
Melanie's songs for me are ok but nothing really special.
"Funny Face" and "Telephone Man" (what a nauseating voice!) both suck.
Prediction for the top 5: 5. You Don't Bring Me Flowers 4. Feelings 3. Leave Me Alone (Ruby Red Dress) 2. Why Me 1. Muskrat Love
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Post by JessieLou on Jun 5, 2015 16:26:28 GMT -5
5. Boreis Albert - The Cure For Insomnia (1975)Actual title is "Feelings". During the beginning of me becoming a 70's whore, I asked FreakyFlyBry to send me the AT40 show from 1975 where the second coming of Jesus Jefferson Starship hit "Miracles" debuted. He warned me about this song, which was in the top 10 that week (why I will never know), and told me that it was incredibly boring. I was actually looking forward to it because I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. During the first minute or so I thought it sucked but I didn't really think too much of it, but it kept dragging ON AND ON AND ONNNNNNNNNNNN. It's like "The Wreck Of Edmund Fitzgerald" times infinity! Could this song be ANY MORE BORING?! Seriously, this guy makes Enya look like the Macarena. Now I gotta tag Courage for his reaction to that comment. 4. Geezers - You Don't Bring Me Flowers (Not That We Deserve Any Because We Suck) (1978)Actual artists are, unfortunately, Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond. If this were FreakyFlyBry's list, this would be #1. But I'm not FreakyFlyBry. This really is a terrible song though. Like "Feelings", it drags ON AND ONNNNN. Actually, come to think of it, the two songs do sound pretty similar - but what makes this one worse is that it's TWO geezers instead of one! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW DOUBLE GEEZERS.
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