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Post by JessieLou on May 13, 2015 21:59:20 GMT -5
60. Barry Geezerlow - Can't Smile When I Hear This Crap (1978)"I feel sad when you're sad, I feel glad when you're glad" - um, did a five-year-old write this? That line is right up there with "good is good and bad is bad" (no offense Sheryl ). 59. Helen Not Reddy - You're Not My World (Because You're A Geezer) (1977)I wanna be a little nicer to this one knowing that Casey Kasem stanned for it, but I'm sorry, I can't be nice to this borefest. Seriously, what the hell is this supposed to be? YAAAAAAAWWWWNNNNN. 58. Jimmy Buffett - Cheeseburger In Fungusland (1978)Um... WHAT?? That title ("Cheeseburger In Paradise") is so ridiculous I don't even know how I can mess with it, but I tried. Of all the topics in the world to sing about, you choose to sing about f*cking CHEESEBURGERS? SERIOUSLY?? The only time this song didn't suck was when it was made fun of on South Park. 57. Helen Not Reddy - You And Me Against Making A Good Song (1974)GO. AWAY. YOU. SKANK. 56. Engelbert Humperdinck - After The Hatin' (1976)First of all, I am not even going to TRY messing with that geezerly ass name. Second, what the hell is this? And more importantly, HOW was this a hit in 1976?! It sounds like a show tune! I actually knew who he was before I became a 70's whore because he always does shows in Florida and my Mom jokes about wanting to go see him, but this was the first song from him I ever heard, and hopefully the last. Awful! 55. Minnie Riperton - Hatin' You (1975)I know Minnie Riperton and this song were huge influences on Mariah Carey, but dude, this is sooooooo bad. It's boring, it goes on and on, and the part where she says, "and every time that we... OOOOOOOOOOOH" is beyond cringeworthy. Never enter into my ears again! 54. Freddy Fender - Before The Next Off-Key Note (1975)You know your song blows when FreakyFlyBry has to warn me about it. Again, what a RANDOM artist to make it big in the mid-70's. This song just sucks. The brotha can't sing! 53. John Denver - Thank God I'm Finally Releasing A Good Song (lol jk this one sucks too) (1975)I actually think this is his worst song. Not only is it a hot mess, but it goes ON AND ON AND ONNNNNNNNNNNNN. WE GET IT. YOU'RE A COUNTRY BOY. GOD. 52. Neil "The King Of Off-Key" Sedaka - (Is This The Way To) Geezerillo (1977)As much as I HATED the Tony Christie version when it was re-released in the UK in 2005 and it spent 937 weeks at #1, I did not include it on this list because I associate that song more with 2005 than the 70s. The original version from Mr. Off-Key, however, is another story - and it's equally as bad as Tony Christie's! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW GEEZERS. 51. Debby Boone - You Don't Light Up My Life (Because You Stopped Carlegend From Getting Her Second #1) (1977)NOBODY, and I repeat, NOBODY, f*cks with Carlegend Slaymon. As if John Denver's "I'm Sorry/Calypso" and Neil Sedaka's "Bad Blood" preventing "Miracles" from #1 wasn't bad enough - this BOREFEST spent TEN f*ckING WEEKS at #1 on the Hot 100, and therefore prevented Carly Simon's #2 smash from The Spy Who Loved Me, "Nobody Does It Better", from reaching the top. Dude, SERIOUSLY??? One weekend last September, Courage stayed over here and on that Sunday morning he woke up to me complaining about this song when it came on AT40. COMING UP: 41. An early rock and roll legend who felt the need to sing about his dick. 42. An artist who named himself after something I had to deal with THREE times in late 2004. 43. The theme song to one of my least favorite TV sitcoms ever. 44. N.W.A.'s "Gangsta Gangsta" and DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince's "Boom! Shake The Room", both of which I like, actually sample this. 45. The biggest hit from a folk singer born in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. 46. An artist who shares a name with a 2014 Iggy Azalea hit. 47. An artist who shares the same name as what Madonna liked to call herself in 2004. 48. Me every Halloween. 49. HOT BECKY G. REMAKE! 50. This was one of the two songs namedropped in my 1976 rant on the AT40 Fun & Games board (which I believe I posted on here too).
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Post by FreakyFlyBry on May 13, 2015 23:39:09 GMT -5
The only one I really disagree with there is "Lovin' You". I like that one. "Cheeseburger In Paradise" is ok too. That Manilow song is one of his worst, good call there! Both Helen Reddy songs there are awful, "You And Me Against The World" is way too sappy for my liking. Should've been higher! Engelbert Humperdinck... where do I begin? He is just way too geezerly, and you know how most artists have that one song I like regardless of how much I hate them? I can't think of a single Engelbert Humperdinck song I like. Come to think of it, Freddy Fender is the same for me, talk about an off key anthem! "Thank God I'm A Country Boy" I don't feel strongly either way about. It's just.... there for me. "Amarillo" is pretty bad too, as if I had enough of Tony Christie's version in 2005! And of course, "You Light Up My Life"... what a dull borefest! I do like some remakes of it though. How the hell did it spend 10 weeks at #1? Thankfully she never hit again. 41... Chuck Berry "My Ding-A-Ling"? 42... Hurricane Smith "Oh Babe, What Would You Say"? 46... Fancy "Wild Thing"? 49... Captain & Tennille "Can't Stop Dancing"? Likewise, 50... "Lonely Night (Angel Face)"?
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Post by Matt on May 14, 2015 2:58:33 GMT -5
I only like LeAnn's version of Debbie, but I disliked every track this round BTW You can't just have a grudge on a track because it held off Carlegend from the peak. GOD Jess! Great call on Minnie Riperton! Like, how the hell did she sit down and write that song? Or rather, decide to perform vocal-suicide with that last note of the track. ERGH! My dog back in the 80's started howling when he heard that. Two Helen's this round. Please God let there be more.
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Post by Deleted on May 18, 2015 6:41:50 GMT -5
Totally agreed with you on that awful Minnie Riperton song.
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Post by JessieLou on May 19, 2015 23:47:49 GMT -5
50. Craptain & Tennille - Lonely Skank (Geezer Face) (1976)This song is beyond cringeworthy. Seriously, what the hell is this crap supposed to be?! NEXT! 49. Craptain & Tennille - Can't Stop Being Geezers (1977)Oh lawd, THEM again. Everything I said about the previous song would also apply to this. I guess constantly being exposed to 1976 AT40 has especially given me a distaste for their Song Of Joy era - that, and of course the fact that "Muskrat Love" is on that album. 48. Larry Gross - Junk Food Mofo (1976)Junk food, in moderation, is awesome. This song, not so much. Talk about an off key anthem! 47. Esther Phillips - What A Diff'rence Singing Off Key Makes (1975)OH MY GOD. This is soooo bad. I couldn't believe how terrible this was when I first heard it. SHE CAN'T SING! And why is there random moaning in the middle of this? THIS SONG ISN'T EVEN ABOUT SEX. GOD. 46. Fancy - (Please Do Not) Touch Me (1974)The first appearance from these awful, awful two-hit wonders. While this is nowhere near as bad as their version of "Wild Thing", this is still annoying as shit nonetheless. 45. Loudon Wainwright III - Off-Key Skunk (1973)I am NOT looking forward to hearing this awful song this Sunday. Why were songs about dead skunks even going top 40 anyway?!?! 44. Ohio Players - Fungus Worm (1973)I usually like them, but this was beyond cringeworthy. What the hell is this supposed to be?! It's so bizarre and creepy and random I don't even know how to describe it. The only good thing I have to say about this song is that I love the synths as they remind me of 90's hip hop (as I mentioned before, N.W.A, Will Smith, and several other rap musicians sampled this). Other than that, this blows BIG TIME. 43. War - (The) Low Rider (Is An Annoying Mofo) (1975)EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW THE GEORGE NO-PEZ THEME SONG GET IT AWAY FROM ME. 42. Hurricane Smith - Oh, Babe, What Would You Say (Other Than That I Can't Sing)? (1972)Three years before Neil Sedaka released "Bad Blood" and took this guy's crown, Hurricane Smith was the king of off-key! Seriously, what a terrible song. How did some of these people get record deals?? 41. Chuck Berry - My Ding-A-Ling (Is Small And Shitty Just Like This Song) (1972)I respect Chuck Berry and his impact on rock and roll - well, except for this. I CANNOT respect this. This has to be one of the most annoying, obnoxious, cringeworthy songs I have ever heard, and what makes it even worse is that it's coming from a respected artist! This, my friends, will be Madonna in about 10 years. COMING UP: 31. For some reason, Glee felt the need to cover this. 32. Linda Ronstadt stans for this artist. 33. Um... it's from 1971? 34. A #1 hit from 1973, this artist only had one more hit - six years later! 35. Let's just say it's very fitting that this is #35. 36. #1 hit from 1973. 37. The Singing Nun of the 70's! 38. www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkVsJGl5d6E39. Same artist as #36. 40. Ariana Grande will most likely agree with me on this one!
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Post by FreakyFlyBry on May 19, 2015 23:53:07 GMT -5
The only one there I can honestly day I really like is "Low Rider". Always enjoyed that one! I don't mind "Junk Food Junkie" for some random reason. Don't like either of those Captain & Tennille songs and I hope "Muskrat Love" is top 5! "My Ding-A-Ling" is hilarious coming from a legend like Chuck Berry, but it's so WRONG that it was his only #1. "Dead Skunk" and that Hurricane thingy are terrible. The rest I have no strong opinion on either way. 31... David Geddes "Run Joey Run"? 34... Maureen McGovern "The Morning After"? 35... that thing at #35? 37... Sister Janet Mead "The Lord's Prayer"? 38... Barry Manilow "Mandy"?
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Post by Matt on May 20, 2015 3:59:25 GMT -5
50/49 - I can't stand Craptain and Senile. Next! 48 - Oh. Dear. God. 47 - Well obviously she met a man who could make her orgasm during that 24 hours. God this is bad. 46 - I think there's a theme going on here ^^ 45 - The first 2 seconds of this song, I was like "NUP!" 44 - 43 - Hmmm, at the least there was somewhat of an attempt at music in this one. Still annoying as hell. 42 - I suppose back in the 70's and this came on the radio, I might refrain from throwing it through the window. I'd open it first. 41 - This one I actually know! It's not terrible but he has muuuuch better. If there were feature artists back in the 70's, he could have hooked up with 47 and 46 on this one.
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2015 23:41:03 GMT -5
I agree that the Loudon Wainwright song is a total annoyance, and "My Ding-A-Ling" is definitely Chuck Berry's worst song (how ironic that it was his only #1, and yet it held Elvis' "Burning Love" to #2!)
I do like "Low Rider", however.
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Post by JessieLou on May 22, 2015 17:51:42 GMT -5
40. Bette Midler - Do You Want To Be A Borefest? (1972)Surprisingly, I can actually tolerate Bette Midler for the most part. I like "Wind Beneath My Wings" and LOVE "I'm Beautiful Dammit", and there was another song of hers from the 90's that I liked although I can't remember the title. Also, in 2003, she did a standards album and there was a duet with Linda Ronstadt on there called "Sisters" that I liked. So believe it or not, I don't hate Bette Midler. This song, however, is TERRIBLE. It's boring, it's cheesy, it's cringeworthy, and she sounds SUPER annoying on it. NEXT! 39. Helen Not Reddy - I Am Geezer (1972)Or, as @whoselinefan calls it, "I Am Not Woman". This was unfortunately the very first song of hers I ever heard, way back in 2006. During my very brief tomboy phase back in middle school, there was one day where I was in the library and an IDIOT teacher who was in there too with her class mistook me for a student of hers named Dillon, and when the teacher and her students realized that I was a girl, some students started laughing. I felt TERRIBLE. No girl EVER wants to be confused for a guy. When I came home, I told my Mom about it and I was crying, and she put this song on to cheer me up and she even started dancing with me. While I did appreciate my Mom's gesture and she did cheer me up by just listening to me and caring, I couldn't help but think to myself how terrible the song was. Seven years later, I was listening to an AT40 show from 1972, and saw that an artist named Helen Reddy had a song on the chart called "I Am Woman". I put two and two together and realized it was her who did that song, and she's been constantly made fun of by yours truly ever since! Seriously though, I do appreciate the message of this song and I respect what it did for the feminist movement, but it's just not a good song. AT ALL. Also, Matt, I don't think I ever showed you this, but this is a video of Jefferson Starship performing one of Grace Slick's solo singles, "Mistreater", in Virginia back in 1981. Listen to what Grace says in the very beginning of this. 38. Barry Geezerlow - Blandy (1975)UGH. Hated this borefest from day one. If I were Mandy I would've filed a restraining order tbh. 37. Sister Janet Whatsherface - The Lord's Prayer (1974)Yet another hot mess! I'm sorry, I know this sounds terrible, but to me, religion and pop music just aren't a good mix. Between "Dominique" a decade earlier and this DISCO version of a PRAYER, it's just... No. Just no. 36. Helen Not Reddy - Delta Yawn (1973)What a MESS this one is. The only thing worse than Helen Reddy doing a pop song, is Helen Reddy doing a COUNTRY song! Ugh. 35. John & Ernest - That THING At #35! (1973)Actual title is "Super Fly Meets Shaft", and yes, I PURPOSELY put this at #35 on the list for shits and giggles. For those who don't know or remember, I heard this song for the first time around this time last year on a 1973 AT40 show. It's basically like all the other Dickie Goodman "songs" - "Convention '72", "Energy Crisis '74", etc., and like all the other Dickie Goodman "songs", I started yelling at screaming and ranting when I first heard it. So much that it was a running theme in my entire commentary for that show. Here are some highlights from what is one of my favorite AT40 commentaries: 35. John & Ernest - Super Fly Meets Shaft (debut) - OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS ANOTHER ONE OF THESE DAMN SONGS??? WASN'T "CONVENTION '72" TORTURE ENOUGH? THIS ISN'T EVEN A SONG IT'S RANDOM NOISE. SUPER FLY AND SHAFT ARE BOTH WHORES WHO NOBODY CARES ABOUT. GO AWAY. GOD. 34. Dr. John - Right Place Wrong Time (debut) - not a fan but it was a masterpiece after that THING at #35! 29. Lobo - It Sure Took A Long, Long Time (36) β WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? THIS SOUNDS LIKE FREDDY FENDER! IF I DONβT WANNA HEAR FREDDY FENDER, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WANT TO HEAR YOUR GEEZERLY CRAP?! GOD. Still though, this is a masterpiece compared to that THING at #35! 27. Clint Holmes - Playground In My Mind (32) β um what the hell is this? This SUCKS. Still though, itβs way better than that THING I just heard at #35! 23. Helen Reddy - Peaceful (12) - I came in here fully prepared to trash Helen Not-Reddy, but you know what? I am still in shock at that THING at #35, so for one week only I am going to give this old hag a free pass. 16. The Carpenters - Sing (9) β omg why. Still though, itβs better than that THING I just heard at #35! 15. Jud Strunk - Daisy A Day (18) β NO. FROM THIS POINT ON I WILL NO LONGER COMMENT ABOUT COUNTRY CRAP. Still though, Iβd take this over that THING at #35! 14. Sylvia - Pillow Talk (20) β This is HORRIBLE. Is this AT40 or is this a porno?! Still though, Iβd take this over that THING at #35 any day of the week! 11. Steely Dan - Reeling In The Years (15) - LOVE this song! my favorite on this chart. SO much better than that THING at #35! 1. Tony Orlando & Dawn - Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Ole Oak Tree (1) - this sounds NOTHING like a #1 smash. BOOOORING! But luckily that THING at #35 wasn't a #1! The irony is, both "Playground In My Mind" and "Pillow Talk" are still to come. The whole commentary can be read here. But yeah, this really is awful - still though, I'd take this over that THING at #34, which is... 34. Maureen McBoringhead - The Morning After (1973)SOOOOO bad omg. Does anyone know how to sing anymore?!?! 33. Daddy Dewflop β Chick-A-Boom (1971)This was actually a last minute add on the list. I was listening to XM's 70's On 7 channel one day a few weeks ago and this came on, and I thought it was SO annoying and repetitive that I had to put it on here. I'm sure this made Rita Coolidge very happy, as her 1978 version of "The Way You Do The Things You Do" was supposed to be #100, and ended up missing the list because of this crap. Now, never enter my ears again, skank boy! 32. Maria Mehdaur - I'm An Off-Key Woman (1974)WHAT IS IT with all these songs about being women being so bad?? I want to LIKE girl power anthems but MARIA MULDAUR AND HELEN REDDY ARE MAKING IT SO HARD. GOD. I first heard this on a 1975 show, and Casey introduced it by telling a story about how she was Linda Ronstadt's favorite current female artist - this was around the time I first started getting into Linda, and I figured if she was praising someone this person's gotta be good! I couldn't BELIEVE how awful it was. This woman's vocal range is pretty much the opposite of Linda. Linda can SAAAANG but this girl is basically the female Neil Sedaka - OFF-KEY BEYOND BELIEF! She does have one other song though that is FAR worse and will be appearing on here very, very soon. 31. David Geddes - Hey, Let's Be Overdramatic And Stupid! (1975)Actual title is "Run Joey Run". I also first heard this on a 1975 show, and this song is basically an audio soap opera. EXTREMELY disturbing and overdramatic. How this was such a big hit, I don't know. I'm just grateful that I've escaped from ever hearing the Glee version, because I'm sure that version is no prize at the picnic either. Or is the phrase prize at the park? Whatever, you get what I mean. COMING UP: 21. A cover of a 1966 hit. 22. 837 restaurants are named after this song, and years before I became a 70's whore, this was actually my #1 worst song of the decade. 23. A country artist who got his start in a group. This was one of his first solo hits. 24. This artist is mostly well-known for having his only hit played at sporting events, being a pedophile, and doing the original version of one of Joan Jett's most well-known songs. 25. A song about a certain kind of fruit. 26. This was from a musical. 27. A song about getting knocked up. 28. The second and final #1 for these two skanks. 29. My least favorite song from this California band. 30. This artist passed away in 2011.
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Post by Deleted on May 22, 2015 21:19:25 GMT -5
I actually like the Daddy Dewdrop song.
24 has got to be Gary Glitter.
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Post by FreakyFlyBry on May 22, 2015 23:36:48 GMT -5
Surprisingly, the only one I totally disagree with is "Mandy"! I normally find Barry Manilow boring but I actually like that one, his signature hit, go figure. The rest range from tolerable (most of them) to bad ("Delta Dawn" - somehow I doubt Tanya Tucker's version is any better either, "Do You Want To Dance" - what a way to ruin what was once a fun uptempo 50's-60's pop tune and turn it to a borefest!), to the worst "song" there, that THING at #35! 22... Jimmy Buffett "Margaritaville"? 23... Kenny Rogers "Lucille"?
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Post by FreakyFlyBry on May 24, 2015 17:07:03 GMT -5
21... Rita "I Married Kris Kardashian" Coolidge "Higher And Higher"? 28... Captain & Tennille "Do That To Me One More Time"?
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Post by JessieLou on May 24, 2015 18:08:26 GMT -5
30. Phoebe Snow - (The) Poetry Man (Cannot Sing And Is Incredibly Off-Key) (1975)OH MY GOD. Did this woman EVER have singing lessons?! Without a doubt one of the most ANNOYING voices of the 70's! Terrible song. 29. War - The Cisco Douchebag (1973)As I said this morning in the AT40 thread, this is, in my opinion, their worst song. Talk about a hot mess! This gives me a headache every single time. 28. Craptain & Tennille - (Please, I'm Begging You, Do Not) Do That To Me One More Time (1979)Years before I heard "Muskrat Love" for the first time, I was first introduced to Craptain & Tennille with this song (actually, I heard "Love Will Keep Us Together" on the radio a lot growing up, but for years I actually thought that was by Natalie Cole ). I absolutely HATED this. It's so boring and the lyrics are cringeworthy - "kiss me, like you just did" - um, could that be any more VAGUE? Although given their perverted song titles, I probably should be grateful that she was so vague. Just a terrible song. Easily the worst song of 1979. 27. Paul Anka & Odia Coates - You're Not Having My Baby (Because You're A Geezer And I Don't Wanna Bang You) (1974)Okay, this is just disturbing. First of all, wasn't Paul Anka, like, 800 years old at this point? Second of all, this is just perverted and gross, especially coming from PAUL ANKA of all people. Ugh. 26. Godspell - Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day Day By Day (1972)I pretty much just posted the entire lyrics of this song. This was the "The Hanging Tree" of the 70's. I heard this for the first time last year on a 1972 song and I wanted to PUNCH A F*ckING WALL when I heard this. Literally the ENTIRE song is, "day by daaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, day by daaaaaaaaaaaaaaay" - WE GET IT ALREADY! DAY BY DAY. GOD. 25. Nilsson - CocoNUT (1972)OH LAWD. I first heard this on the same show where I first heard "Day By Day". I usually don't mind Nilsson but this has got to be one of the most ANNOYING songs I've ever heard. He sounds so obnoxious on this song. NO, FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM NOT GOING TO PUT THE LIME IN THE COCONUT. GOD. 24. Gary Dickface - Rock And Rool (Part 2) (1972)Criminal record or not, I always hated this song. It's annoying as hell and goes absolutely nowhere. And I don't care if my name for him is harsh - he deserves it. F*cking asshole. 23. Crappy Rogers - Lucille (Is A Mofo) (1977)Okay I gotta go so I'm gonna keep these short and sweet. This sucks and Lucille is a whore. 22. Jimmy Buffett - Margafungusville (1977)This was my most hated song of the 70's pre-70's whore era. Now, I discovered 21 worst songs but this is still terrible nonetheless. 21. Fancy - (I Am Not A) Wild Thing (Because I Suck) (1974)Ugh, THEM again. This was their bigger hit. I never liked any version of this song but this is the only one that GOT ON MY LAST F*ckING NERVE. Repetitive and overly sexual for no reason. COMING UP: 16. Geezers gone disco! 17. The one time anything Oasis-related sucked. 18. Homer Simpson has a tattoo of this band. 19. This song, lyrically, was similar to Mikalia's "So In Love With Two". 20. The one time CHICKENS made the top 40!
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Post by JessieLou on May 24, 2015 18:09:03 GMT -5
21... Rita "I Married Kris Kardashian" Coolidge "Higher And Higher"? 28... Captain & Tennille "Do That To Me One More Time"? Rita was #80
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Post by Matt on May 24, 2015 21:08:45 GMT -5
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